Mister Pterodactyl
Thursday, August 21, 2008
 
So far the Olympics seem to be going pretty well.
No major disasters to speak of. The Water Cube and the Bird’s Nest are awesome (from the outside, anyway). I wonder what the Chinese are going to do with them after the games. [Marketing idea: Olympic action figure playsets!]

Unlike some people, I always enjoy watching the Olympics.

But there’s one thing that bugs me. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s not the pollution (wouldn’t want to offend the hosts). It’s not the pre-K gymnasts (shaddap!). It’s not the easy-to-obtain protest permits that nobody really wants, honest! I’m okay with all that stuff. I’m okay with China trying to pretend nobody notices, even while they’re telling everyone to shut up about it.
[Just go with it for the sake of discussion.]

Forget the controversies, the oppression, the spineless international community, et cetera, and focus on what's really important - not the politics, the politicians. The Chinese ones. Specifically, their names. Hasn't anyone else noticed? President Hu Jintao? Premier Wen Jiabao? Ladies and gentlemen, right there's an Abbott and Costello routine waiting to happen:

Hey, who’s the president of China?
That’s right.
What’s right?
Hu’s the president of China.
That’s what I’m asking you. Who’s the president of China?
Yes.
Yes? What, yes?
Hu is the president of China.
I’m asking YOU who’s the president of China.
I’m TELLING you, Hu’s the president of China.
YOU’RE NOT TELLING ME ANYTHING. [Grumble, sigh] Okay, look: does China have a president?
Yes.
Does the president of China have a name?
Yes.
Do you know the name of the president of China?
Yes.
Will you tell me the name of the president of China?
Okay.
[tic..tic..tic..]
When?
No, Wen’s the prime minister.

It writes itself, people. And if the Chinese had a Wat, Wer, Wy, and Hau, it'd be even funnier.

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You are no longer welcome in Beijing, Mr. Costellodactyl. Because of you, we will not free Tibet.
 
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