Mister Pterodactyl
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
I've been a little stressed out lately.
Uncharacteristic of me. But it's been a busy time at work, there's some uncertainty, it wears on you. Then, as I left my apartment this morning, I opened my newspaper to see this.

And I felt easier.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005
I miss my blog.
I had hoped that some future me would use a time machine to come back and fill in some of this dead space. As those posts have not appeared, I conclude that time travel will not become common in my lifetime.
Of course, it could be that my future self is just lazy.

But even if my future self did so, I still wouldn’t be blogging now. I gotta get back on this horse. And today’s paper just happened to have some stories that I deem noteworthy.

#1: by a staff writer, “Iowa, US getting tubbier.” So what, you say? It was on the front page.
My favorite part: “Shelley Hearne, executive director of [the nonprofit advocacy group Trust for America's Health], used the statistics to call for more government action to combat obesity in the United States.’We have reached a state of policy paralysis in regards to obesity,’ she said.”

Fine. Here’s my proposal. Obese people will, from now on, be required by law to wear signs declaring such. And it will be legal to hit with a stick anyone wearing such a sign, thus encouraging fat people to get more exercise in the form of running away. Okay?
As a bonus, Congress will have weeks of fun debating the precise definition of ‘stick.’ CNN’ll cover it live, at least until another blonde chick goes missing.

#2: from the AP’s No Shit Department, “Bush disagrees with Sheehan’s views.”

Unfortunately I can’t find it on the website, but no matter. The 14-paragraph article contained absolutely no new information. Oh, and if you don’t know who Sheehan is, congratulations.

Finally, #3: again from the AP (though not the NSD, but it would have been if I were in charge), “rivalries block Japan from UN council seat.”

[Again not on the website.] No shit. The UN is a Cold War institution. It’s not designed to make things happen, it’s designed to prevent things from happening. [Thus the stellar record in nonproliferation, peacekeeping, and famine relief.]

Side note: “…Japan joined forces with Germany, Brazil, and India, which also want to be permanent council members. The so-called Group of Four…”
Group of Four. Am I the only one who’s getting tired of these lame nicknames for political alliances? Remember when the US, the UN, the EU, and Russia were trying to get Israel and the Palestinians to make nice, and they morphed into the ‘so-called Quartet?’ And every article about the conflict contained that phrase?

Hey, whaddaya mean, ‘chill out?’

In every spy novel I’ve ever read (three), the CIA has a phone number you can call for this. “This is Agent Zee, I need a word.” “The word is giblet.” “Thank you. Gentlemen, Operation Giblet is go.” Could we get one of those?


Saturday, August 06, 2005
Gas taxes and late paperboys
On Friday, my copy of the Des Moines Register was late. Not wanting to be without (I like to read it while I eat), I ran out to pick up another one. And I'm glad I did.

An article entitled "Rising hybrid sales fuel U of I mileage-tax study" discusses the concerns of state officials over the possibility of declining gasoline-tax revenue due to sales of fuel efficient hybrid cars, such as the Toyota Prius.
"The popularity of hybrid automobiles will drive a University of Iowa study designed to find out whether motorists should be taxed on the miles they drive rather than the fuel they burn. A monthly mileage levy would replace the gasoline tax that Americans pay at the pump and local governments rely upon to pay for road repairs and construction.
Mileage information would be recorded on a special data card by a dashboard computer. Drivers would have the card scanned at convenience stores or other locations to compute the tax. The tax bill would come in the mail, Forkenbrock said."

I don't even know where to start on this. More later.

[Note: I don't actually know if the carrier is a boy.]
Friday, August 05, 2005
Over at Grandpa John's
Steve has some thoughts on my late bloggus interruptus.

I don't take them that seriously.

Hmmm... I haven't been blogging about anything else lately, perhaps I should be blogging about not blogging. Could be a previously undiscovered niche in the 'sphere!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005

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