Mister Pterodactyl
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Oh, good
"RACINE — Mayor Gary Becker has been arrested on multiple felony charges related to attempted sexual assault of a child and having child pornography, according to a state agency."

And yes, it did occur to me to suggest a new round of Name That Party, but that would just be mean.

[Update: I think I should point out that at the time that article was published, I did not in fact know what party Becker belonged to. And since it's from the local paper in Racine, where I no longer live, readers might very well be expected to already know that information. Just to be fair.]

Monday, January 12, 2009
I think I should ask for a bailout too
Seriously. As long as everybody else is, I mean. It's not just the banks anymore, or the automakers. Even newspapers and, ahem, other publications are trying to get their piece. That Larry Flint, what a kidder.

And I wouldn't need anywhere what they're asking, either. No five billion. Not even one billion. In fact, thirty or forty grand would probably do it. [Okay, in the spirit of the times, make it sixty.]

See, I'm currently working full time and going to school part time, after a second bachelor's degree. A bailout would allow me to work less and focus on my studies more, thus allowing me to do better and finish faster. After which I would begin my glorious new career and earn lots more money than I am now. That means I would increase my discretionary spending, helping to move the economy along, and at the same time pay more taxes, both due to my higher income and additional sales taxes (see discretionary spending, increased, above).

To top it off, there's some unemployed sap out there who could have my job in the meantime, thus providing even more stimulus. Stimuli?

See? This plan is a winner. I'm calling my Congressman to get a bailout application now.

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