Mister Pterodactyl
Sunday, November 13, 2005
 
9-7
That's the Packers I know.

And I think a particular fifth-string undrafted practice squad rookie running back is probably feeling pretty good about himself this evening.

Toward the end of the game, the announcer (name unimportant) stated that Brett Favre was traded to Green Bay for a running back "who never made much of himself in the league." That is untrue. Favre was traded for a first-round draft pick (we had two that year). Atlanta used that pick to select offensive tackle Bob Whitfield, who attended two or three Pro Bowls during his career.

That said, let's get serious. Following Tuesday Morning Quarterback's ruminations on why, oh why an advanced spacefaring alien race would bother to invade the Earth, a reader responds: "Super-advanced beings are in a constant struggle to remain highly ranked, so they're looking for easy victories to pad their records. Earth is the Florida Atlantic of intergalactic wars, a patsy on some alien race's early-season schedule."
Sounds reasonable. But it leaves unanswered a question that seems exceedingly important to me (and should to you if you're concerned about being conquered and enslaved by giant insectoid robot thingies). To wit: when does the season start?
This is a difficult question to answer. Our own sports schedules, when viewed objectively, are really pretty arbitrary. They start and end according to the calendar year, the length of which is based on the Earth's revolution around the Sun. [The 'year' thusly defined doesn't necessarily have to start at a particular point in that revolution; the fact that it does is more a matter of tradition than anything.] However, let's give it the ol' Florida Atlantic try.
According to Wikipedia, the Milky Way Galaxy is approximately 13.6 (± 0.8) billion years old. Rotation speeds vary with distance from the Galactic Core, but at our level we complete a revolution about every 225 million years. What does this mean? Well, it means that we're currently almost halfway through our 61st trip around the Core.
Sadly, there's no way of knowing when in the galactic "year" the intergalactic war season begins, so no way to know how much time we have left. The Mister Pterodactyl Consortium will be researching this issue. In the meantime, I suggest you all write your congressional representation to ask how the mighty space armada is coming along. Never know when we'll need it.
Comments:
I'm surprised that your research is so antiquated. The leftists, from Marx to Moore, are rookie camp try-outs. Can't you see that Gore is an insectoid robot thingie?
 

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